जिमि कुलीन तिय साधु सयानी । पतिदेवता करम-मन-बानी ॥
रहइ करम-बस परिहरि नाहू । सचिव हृदयँ तिमि दारुन दाहु ॥
jimi kulīna tiya sādhu sayānī | patidevatā karama-mana-bānī ||
rahai karama-basa parihari nāhū | saciva hṛdayam̐ timi dāruna dāhu ||
Ayodhya Kanda
Chapter 145: Dread of facing Ayodhya
5 verses · 145 of 326
What happens in this chapter
Dread of facing Ayodhya
Sumantra's heart burns like a devoted wife forced by fate to leave her husband. His eyes brim and blur, his ears do not hear, his mind is lost. His lips dry and his tongue sticks; life stays only because the fourteen-year term bars the door of his heart. His face is so pale, it is as if he had killed his own parents; loss and shame fill him like a sinner on the road to Yama. He thinks: what will I see in Avadh? Whoever sees the chariot without Shri Rama will shrink from looking at me. In the doha he dreads the moment the townsfolk rush to question him, when he must answer with a thunderbolt set in his heart.
लोचन सजल डीठि भइ थोरी । सुनइ न स्रवन विकल मति भोरी ॥
सूखहिं अधर लागि मुहँ लाटी । जिउ न जाइ उर अवधि कपाटी ॥
locana sajala ḍīṭhi bhai thorī | sunai na sravana vikala mati bhorī ||
sūkhahiṃ adhara lāgi muham̐ lāṭī | jiu na jāi ura avadhi kapāṭī ||
बिबरन भयउ न जाइ निहारी । मारेसि मनहुँ पिता महतारी ॥
हानि गलानि बिपुल मन ब्यापी । जमपुर पन्थ सोच जिमि पापी ॥
bibarana bhayau na jāi nihārī | māresi manahum̐ pitā mahatārī ||
hāni galāni bipula mana byāpī | jamapura pantha soca jimi pāpī ||
बचन न आव हृदयँ पछिताई । अवध काह मैं देखब जाई ॥
राम रहित रथ देखिहि जोई । सकुचिहि मोहि बिलोकत सोई ॥
bacana na āva hṛdayam̐ pachitāī | avadha kāha maiṃ dekhaba jāī ||
rāma rahita ratha dekhihi joī | sakucihi mohi bilokata soī ||
धाइ पूँछिहहिं मोहि जब, बिकल नगर नर नारि ।
उत्तर देब मैं सबहि तब, हृदयँ बज्रु बैठारि ॥
dhāi pūm̐chihahiṃ mohi jaba, bikala nagara nara nāri |
uttara deba maiṃ sabahi taba, hṛdayam̐ bajru baiṭhāri ||
Text source: Wikisource · Public domain (Tulsidas, 16th c.; 1925 edition, Wikisource PD-1996 tag); transcription CC BY-SA 4.0